Some Times, Some Things

Have you ever wondered if one could have done things differently when armed with hindsight and able to turn back the clock.

Interesting wouldn't it? The thought of it is enough to make people wanna think and truly wonder if there was another outcome to the actions they would have taken.

Some times, i wish that i could have presented myself better
Some things, i guessed were never meant to be at all.

Some times, time spent on doing nothing would have being better spent on something
Some things make you wish they never happened

Some times I want to go back in time and make some changes.
Some things can never be done in time to repair any damages

Some times I would like to have better options than what I was given then
Some things just never go your way.

Some times you wish you could take back harsh words
Some things are better left unsaid

Some times you should have given in instead of taking a stand
Some things have no correct answers

Some times the choices you make affect your future
Some things you do affects others and not just yourselves.

Some times I wonder my reason for living
Some things are worth living for

Making choices

I've tendered in my resignation after 'discussion' on some issuses. I'm getting that butterfly feeling in the pits that says I may be making a mistake. I'll be taking a pay cut for the next few months as compared to what I'm getting now. It's balanced that I'd get it higher once it's done. The working hours will change to reflect and It may be longer than what it is now but it's balance as I'll be doing what I would enjoy doing. I may be dropping classes and gaining them all back and more. I may be making the wrong choice but hey I dun always make the right ones. I do however can live right by them.

I do not believe in just mking money for I believe that to burn out yourself based on that alone will cause one to lose one own self. That I believe is bad and thus I've decided on this path. Walking with passion and when doing it well does have it's own rewards. This path I believe and thus I'll walk. I will walk this path knowing that this time whatever I believe, I'm not alone.

Hot Diss Day

Yup it's the June Holidays or I shall term it as Hot Diss days.

It's Hot as all things that should have occured occurs. Gotta Love Murphy's Law.

Diss. THis happens when skills are called into quesiton despite showing on the spot what one has being doing all this time. I still need work on it.

Days. Well if it's not measured in seconds, minutes, hours, etc, etc blah blah........

I have got alot of work to do ironic as it seems. Students go home and i get to clear up the mess they left behind on the coms. Oh well at least I have got shortcuts to it. I have got to install new software too.......From XP i have to install 2003. oh well Office downgrade. Nice.

Picked up a couple more RPGA games. Dun cost much and doesn't add any expenses not already accounted for. Nice.

Looking for a couple of options since I have to put my studies plan on hold due to terrible finances. Oh well can't get it all. Perfect place with time to study and no $KaChing$$ to do it. Sad man. Oh well time to look further and harder.

Refreshing

lol long time now. Had a pretty good bashing time where the dwarf paladin got to bash up no less than 17 Gnolls. lol. I needed that de-stressing.

Sigh on 1 hand my reservist is coming on the other hand, I got a possible new student so not all is lost. Perhaps I should sit back and reevaulate options again. y studies aren't coming along very well since I have already pre-calculated and the conclusion is pretty much unacceptable. Voting is over so that's another thing altogether.

X-men movie coming up and watching with YY and the rest of the gang.

Till next time.
Music is sometimes the best way to forget.

Different Views and Methods

It's amazing how far technology has come. It has brought no end of grief and headaches to the teachers here. Some of them because they are not net savvy enough are experiencing massive headaches trying to keep up with their younger compariots. However they showed that they try to learn and undestand which kinda proves that learning doesn't ever end. Life is sure one heck of a giant of a classroom. I learnt quite a few things here and actually none of them much on IT.

I learnt how to relate better with kids and I think that should help me in my coaching lol. I also found that females do have it better lol. This is sure biased thinking on this part. No NS and enough time to go learn the world. Enough on this now. Office politics exist everywhere it seems and everyone who feels themselves more important tham others seem to have no idea how much it affects work. Additional stress can be avoided if the people open their damm eyes and see that there are other people working with them and not peons.

Another I happened to learn but maybe it's just me. Stay out of sights. It seems that I'm becoming not ust the TA but anything else the teacher can't handle and it seems remotely technological, it's call the TA time. lol.

Another time perhaps when I got my head, heart and soul back in proper sync. :)

Trusting to the point of Idiocy???

Nice weekend. Enjoyed it. retty fun DnD session with the guys. dinner as usual. Had an interesting RPGA session on Monday @ PI. Kudos to Wayne. lol seems that my new hangout is PI. no life liao lol.

Today was reality smackdown. Bad. Big. Horrendous. Now I'm an idiot or a naive idiot or a simply incredible naive moronic, incompetent, trusting, easily suckered idiot. Take your pick.

I try so hard to to do well for my job and I try to make sure I cover the loopholes. Now how does one cover the loopholes when It is discovered that the loopholes were covering only bigger holes. Sure I'm not that professional but isn't some sense of responsiblity needed?

I did an inventory check only to discover that there were additional stuff that was NEVER entered. Worse thing is the guy who did the check assured me that it was all done, showing me the documentation that was prepared. Here's the news. THAT piece of OFFAL never did send in the in that informaiton and fool that I am, I believed him. Now I have to handle the mess. I swore once that Whatever happens in a task, I would endevour not to inflict it on the person taking over. Is this a naive thinking? I believe one should hand over duties with at least some courtesy of informing the person if some tasks are not yet done but maybe just me alone believes that. The general conseus would be "ahhh boh ka lan, anyhow do."

I mean come on man. Oh well now I'm just ranting. There so many holes covering holes if there is such a term or possible description, ah never mind. There are so many holes covering holes that it's not funny when the extent of damage comes clear and the worse thing is......................It blows up on me. Maybe I'm suay but dammmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not paid enough to handle all this shit. &*))%@#%$

I don't get OT, I dun get much compensation for additional expenses. I'm supposed to be this apparently degree holder who can do all the stuff which I'm offically not even allowed a whiff off. Ironic. I'm a supposed Tech Assistant who cannot do anything because ;
1: I don't have the keys to unlock it.
2: I dun have the permission to fix it.
3: I dun have the account to go and reset

What does this leaves me? Oh yeah Talking.........alot. Now I admit I failed Socialising and Talking tests staying in Brunei but this is ridiculous. I'm worried I'd just lose it and become so darn cynical that I will never find it within myself to trust anyone again. Why? I have being lied to too many times. The truth hurts. I'm a sucker. A friend once told me that I'll never make it in life. Why? I'm too nice, and in the outside world you're prey. So it seems that I must unleash the inner ruthless beast just to survive? Somehow deep within I fear that I will become that ruthless person those laughterable TV shows put on. The scary thing is, It's true............................

Singing the greens.

Ok now that one of my close friends, Shai, has ORDed now is the time to sing away all those greens. I've got abit of a headache since I'll need to create a new character since I'm getting bored with playing my current Character in Fara'2 Campaign. I have also completed preparing the computer labs marathon. heh heh.

Bad note though, my sis borrowed money from me lol. I should have enough to last me through the month but this sucks man. I do not ever remember having to be this fiscally inclined disciplined person regarding my finances. It was always See budget, Set Budget and Spend Budget. Now it's count every single cent....... Sian man.

The school and job is indeed nice but the money seriously isn't. Maybe I'm immature in thinking about $$$ now but the way I lok at it, I can't progress anywhere else without it. I'm saving only about a whopping $100 a month........... How to go further studies like that???? Never mind I have already set a plan which will go into action from July onwards. It's really too early to be thinking like that but I can't help it. I want to do things, see places and people to meet. In short I want some other variation in life. I believe that there's always more I haven't met or done.

On another note, What's with all the moaning and depression laden atmosphere with some of my friends lately. Singlehood is not bad what. Freedom all around. heh heh heh. lol
Dun spread this bug to me.