Trusting to the point of Idiocy???

Nice weekend. Enjoyed it. retty fun DnD session with the guys. dinner as usual. Had an interesting RPGA session on Monday @ PI. Kudos to Wayne. lol seems that my new hangout is PI. no life liao lol.

Today was reality smackdown. Bad. Big. Horrendous. Now I'm an idiot or a naive idiot or a simply incredible naive moronic, incompetent, trusting, easily suckered idiot. Take your pick.

I try so hard to to do well for my job and I try to make sure I cover the loopholes. Now how does one cover the loopholes when It is discovered that the loopholes were covering only bigger holes. Sure I'm not that professional but isn't some sense of responsiblity needed?

I did an inventory check only to discover that there were additional stuff that was NEVER entered. Worse thing is the guy who did the check assured me that it was all done, showing me the documentation that was prepared. Here's the news. THAT piece of OFFAL never did send in the in that informaiton and fool that I am, I believed him. Now I have to handle the mess. I swore once that Whatever happens in a task, I would endevour not to inflict it on the person taking over. Is this a naive thinking? I believe one should hand over duties with at least some courtesy of informing the person if some tasks are not yet done but maybe just me alone believes that. The general conseus would be "ahhh boh ka lan, anyhow do."

I mean come on man. Oh well now I'm just ranting. There so many holes covering holes if there is such a term or possible description, ah never mind. There are so many holes covering holes that it's not funny when the extent of damage comes clear and the worse thing is......................It blows up on me. Maybe I'm suay but dammmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not paid enough to handle all this shit. &*))%@#%$

I don't get OT, I dun get much compensation for additional expenses. I'm supposed to be this apparently degree holder who can do all the stuff which I'm offically not even allowed a whiff off. Ironic. I'm a supposed Tech Assistant who cannot do anything because ;
1: I don't have the keys to unlock it.
2: I dun have the permission to fix it.
3: I dun have the account to go and reset

What does this leaves me? Oh yeah Talking.........alot. Now I admit I failed Socialising and Talking tests staying in Brunei but this is ridiculous. I'm worried I'd just lose it and become so darn cynical that I will never find it within myself to trust anyone again. Why? I have being lied to too many times. The truth hurts. I'm a sucker. A friend once told me that I'll never make it in life. Why? I'm too nice, and in the outside world you're prey. So it seems that I must unleash the inner ruthless beast just to survive? Somehow deep within I fear that I will become that ruthless person those laughterable TV shows put on. The scary thing is, It's true............................

Singing the greens.

Ok now that one of my close friends, Shai, has ORDed now is the time to sing away all those greens. I've got abit of a headache since I'll need to create a new character since I'm getting bored with playing my current Character in Fara'2 Campaign. I have also completed preparing the computer labs marathon. heh heh.

Bad note though, my sis borrowed money from me lol. I should have enough to last me through the month but this sucks man. I do not ever remember having to be this fiscally inclined disciplined person regarding my finances. It was always See budget, Set Budget and Spend Budget. Now it's count every single cent....... Sian man.

The school and job is indeed nice but the money seriously isn't. Maybe I'm immature in thinking about $$$ now but the way I lok at it, I can't progress anywhere else without it. I'm saving only about a whopping $100 a month........... How to go further studies like that???? Never mind I have already set a plan which will go into action from July onwards. It's really too early to be thinking like that but I can't help it. I want to do things, see places and people to meet. In short I want some other variation in life. I believe that there's always more I haven't met or done.

On another note, What's with all the moaning and depression laden atmosphere with some of my friends lately. Singlehood is not bad what. Freedom all around. heh heh heh. lol
Dun spread this bug to me.

Monday Greens

Ahhhhhh...
Nice weekend. Abit of a bummer as I couldn't play much in D&D on sat. However It's was funny on Sunday. Will be trying out cinematics on YY's next session as it would definitely make it more fun. lol thinking about the hamsters and cows laying the smackdown would be funny. Inside D&D joke lol ask me if u're really interested and hopefully you'll know what I'm talking about.

Why no Monday Blues. Well I woke up ready to go and went for this Mass Briefing for TAs. Turned out to be pretty enlightening. Seems I'm now in a rush of time to go complete all my stuff while preparing for new stuff which will be coming on. Just updated my accounts and discovered one cheque bounced. Oh well Time to slog a little more I suppose. I really should start planning but no matter how I plan it even turning into a hermit (again) leaves me no better off than before. My accounts show a defict. sigh.

I really should go look for another job.
Maybe get ready to write a new title named 'Tuesday Blues'.

Given Thoughts

It's said that having a goal to always earn more cash is good.
How much cash is enough?
When you earn enough cash to meet all expenses and have enough leftover. One would always have the tendency to splash on oneself. It's natural. What happens then most of the time is that one will get used to higher spending limit and before you know it, it adds to the expenses column for no other reason than it's there.
I got word from a colleague that he's leaving for a much higher pay and the company is intending to buy him over. Now granted he's already worked for a year but hey my little sister earns more cash than me......

Here's a simple comparsion;
Work 2 days Offf 1 day.
Monthy salary: 1700+ with CPF, without commission.

Now how 'su' is that?
Mine:
Work 5days week.
Monthy salary: 1000 with CPF

Ok granted that hers is a sales line compared to mine which is like office desk job, the difference is incredible. Based on just what is to be done makes me consider if I should just jump ship and go into that line instead if just for the cash value alone. Work wise, the load is about the same but the salary is a marked difference and most of the time responsibility is higher on my end. Sian.......

I want to study and yet I'm limited by this job. I have to admit that I was too hasty when I signed the dotted line and being too worried that I would not have any job offers. I received a few actually and I swear I could kick myself multiple times when I see the terms offered. Much better salary and perks and achieve more too. Now what is it I want? On one hand I dun wish to be seen as a job hopper but I know I cannot be truly happy doing what I am now. I know relying on one plan is never good and I usually plan for more but time is against me actually.

To give myself allowance to see if I am really suited for the job leaves me decisively undecided. I know when I look within I can't have it both ways but it doesn't me I can't stop trying. Anyway Techno music is indeed therapeutic in its own way. Oh well. Sometimes all I can do is bury and shove it somewhere until I can deal with it more objectively.

On a further note, I'm crazy and I decided to go for a new game. Just to see how it goes.

Crashed

Man am I beat. I intended to go inflict self torture on myself yesterday but it turned out I had to have other plans. So I went down to Mount Faber Safra just to go collect some stuff as I'm going to play errand boy and dammm dun you think that if you want someone to do a favor you'd insist that the person bring the stuff to you???? Nah nevermind moving on.....I'm just a good-hearted sucker.

I suddenly realise I do miss poly life when on the train I saw this bunch of youngsters ( i sound damm old i noe) joking and making rather abit of noise in the train despite the rather staid atmosphere in the train. I know most people would be rather happy about heading home or maybe it's just that particular section of the train but I found myself as grim as those people baring the youngsters. Maybe because all had a bad day, exhaustion or just decided smiling would kill you. Oh well Being the sucker that I am I followed the flow.

So I bought bathing sand and sawdust for my hamsters nad went home but as I tried to carry one of them...............well it tried to take a nibble at me........
Shouldn't they be grateful to me??? They let me carry them before and I'm the one who bought their food, bedding, sand and cages.....grrrrrr. Idiot hamsters well if not for the fact that the kids love them so I'd not comment.......too much. I';; forgive them for now until the next bite or so.

Now at work and already have this rather impressive checklist to do so cya.
Oh yeah I have being found... dammm....... So much for thinking this is a rather secluded blog. lol

OK weekend.

Alright the weekend has come and gone. I had a pretty relaxing one chilling with Shai, Kenneth, Elliot and Francis. Ha ha ha. I shall proclaim 2 of them as Withdrawals. One of love and the other of girls. Long story. Didn't give swimming lessons on Sat cause of threatening weather. Had a pretty hilarious DnD session in PI. Received news that we'd having new ppl join in for Sunday's DnD session. Am considering whether should I start playing DnD minis but must consider expenses. It's the balance of Want and Need again I guess.

I happened to comment on a blog of a friend and well got an email started exchanging small talk. Oh well better start adding blog links. lol I read a few but never really bothered to link them. Afterall this is a blog that should remain incognito afterall.

It's monday again and I'm blogging pretty early relativitely. Who knows it may just be peaceful Monday Blues day. :P
Oh yeah am addind in Nadia's blog links. lol

Screw up Somemore

Oh great. Good intentions backfired.

I updated according to SOP(Standard Operating Procedure) on a com belonging to a clerk at school. Turns out she had to use an application that only accepts connections from computers with WIN XP service pack 1. I updated it to service pack 2......................

Now I'd got to go clone it over to service pack 1 again. For those who dun understand the technical terms it's ok. Bottom line is "I Screwed up!!!!!!".

So now tmr I'd got to unleash a miracle within 15 mins. Can be done but I sure as hell would be rushing like mad to do it.

Stupid system!! How to say must have latest updates and yet refuse those who did update. Ridiculous and oxymoron to go about it. Because of this one little thing, the computer which handles some of the most sensitive data;

1. Cannot be updated.
2. Vunerable to hacks or errors due to not having any security updates.
3. Has no way to encrypt data because it doesn't support encryption.

Marvellous... Simply Marvellous.

Another thing: I received my handphone bill and was shocked. I usually spend a conservative 30+ bucks. Guess what I went into the 200+ range. Shocked man. This job I realised actually has hidden costs. Cannot make it but it's still too early to draw such conclusions so I decided I'd observe for another month and see how.
Another bummer. I got Reservist training in June. It's barely Half a year since I ORD and I got reservist. This sux big time. How to keep things up if SAF butts in and decides they want ya to undergo training??? Worst thing is it's a 5 day ICT (In Cam Training). Sian man I tell you. Not my unit and I'm the only one from the platoon going over to this seemly overly garang camp. IPPT and dun noe what else to be inflicted. Think about it already low morale. Heck I got the feeling I'd just fail IPPT on low morale.
lol. Plenty of excuses but I needed some place to whine about it no matter how uncharacteristic of me. I should leave the whining to people who are off a higher level then me to do it.

On a good note. Weekend is coming soon so I'll be playing in the water, mood bad enough and I may just take up Shaisy's offer to go for a swim. :)

Uneven day... Yeah right

Now today was a pretty laidback day. Drag respective a** out of bed and got down to school early. Now this didn't really help sweeten my mood so wat I did was imagine I was going swimming after doing or during one of Seal's events.

Now this helped somewhat but on the way to school today. I saw a classic case of molest, I mean in a bus full of people this one guy brazenly put his hand on this poor female student's chest. Said student must have being in a shock judging by her face and the worst thing?
People all around her just looked. I mean is this kinda of thing so common that the people taking their regular bus are now so jaded that they could ignore this? Ok maybe the surrounding people were in shock, thinking that the guy is her horny boyfriend or something else altogether. Well I'd say horny yes. Boyfriend, by her expression and the shocked expressions on what I surmised may be classmates by uniforms, I'd say no.

Well Like I mentioned, I wasn't in a good mood exactly so I may not be thinking properly so I did what I thought should be done. I raised a scene....................Fat lot of help it did. The guy leered at me, replied rather flippantly (I'd spare the details) and ignoring the now current surrounding glares of the people in the bus proceeded to try and repeat what he did earlier. I say try.............Well I should Stressed try. My next action kinda surprised me but like I say I blame errr lack of sleep, morning blues, lack of brain cells awake, hormones, etc.

Oh another thing. He was just beside me. Accidents do happen that's why you have insurance to cover the unforeseen ya know.

I lost control of my fist somehow and it punched him. Nearby passengers 'accident's' kicked him out of the door when the bus driver 'stepped' on the brakes and 'accidently' got the door to open. Out flew the sack of garbage but I must feel sorry for him somewhat and must pay my respects to the 5 girls whose respective feet struck unerringly at a, let us claim a sensitive anatomy here, ending this brief little scene. (I take back what I said on people being unresponsive, They just may have the same condition in the morning).

Reaching school, prepared the lab and had pretty much an uneventful day. Not bad for a typical day.

Peachy Just Peachy

Today isn't a very good day for me.

Well can it, I have had pretty good day yesterday......I only had to run a couple of flights of stairs to assist computers. Note I said computers and not people. Why? They seem to have lost their brains recently and these are teachers to rub it in. They attended the briefing and still don't know what to do. I could grumble all day but hey in the end it's isn't really their fault. sigh.

Met Shai and Hua for dinner yesterday. Talked a little then Hua left. Window Shopped a little and met Kenneth. lol. Ok talked a little on Shaisy's little problem n well let's leave it as that. ok on to the story, window shopped abit more then went home to do some stuff. still waiting for little bro shaisy to send me some interesting stuff. *snicker* I reserve the right to call u shaisy since u said I was the older bro however that came about lol.

Ok on for today. Spent the entire day in the lab to prepare it for an important briefing but guess what..................Nice Word..............
............
.................
....................
Blackout.

Excellent. Nuff said. Square one anyone? Yep this sucks. Now I managed to do double time in preparing another lab but i need to get to school early just to make sure everything is good. yep sometimes Life realllllyyy sux.

My life seems routines now lol.
Monday - Friday: Go to school
Saturday: Swim followed by Hilarious D&D @ PI or something else.
Sunday: D&D with YY and some others or maybe with some changes.

Yep if my life was a movie, it wouldn't be released not like that advertisement lol.

On another note;
Yoz Shaisy dun put yourself in a pressure cooker, life's fine as it is. Live it to the fullest and if stuff (s**t) happens then it happens. Just whack it somewhere low and and go take a bow. :)
Hearts and Minds are one and the same yet different. They always agree and disagree. Have fun bro, relax and take it easy.